Blog, Lifestyle

Finding Peace in Waves

My new favorite sound is the moment of stillness just before a wave crashes. The ocean swells and rises, moving energy that could have traveled thousands of miles just to arrive at this very beach, to these grains of sand nestled between my toes. 

For the briefest of moments it feels like the ocean itself pauses – if only for a split second – before exhaling and sending the waves to kiss the shore. How far has this energy moved? Through what seas and skies and storms? All to be here for a fleeting moment, a kiss hello and goodbye, before returning to whence it came. 

There’s something about this moment of peace between the waves that connects me to my own. Sometimes unnoticeable, but once you hear it, you realize it is always there. Coming and going, moving and returning energy.

The noise, or perhaps the absence of it, holds me as if spellbound. What beauty we find, what peace and knowledge, in these waves.

These are my kind of moments,

Blog

My Insane Journey Through 2020

Yesterday I finally touched down on USA soil again, after a turbulent year of unexpected twists. I set my suitcase on the floor and the stillness of my apartment crawled under my skin, especially after the year we’ve all had. In stillness I often find moments for reflection, time to take a deep breath after what feels like months of constant chaos.

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Lifestyle, Travel

On Travel + Life: How Do You Know If You’ve Found Home?

Four-lettered words are some of the most complicated: love, hate, pain, hope, home. If you ask a person to define them, there will never be one correct, all-encompassing answer. I love both my family and my dog, my best friends and sunrises, ice cream and freediving. Do I love them all the same way? Of course not (one would hope).

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the island of koh tao as seen from the air, an island surrounded by blue ocean
Blog, Travel

Saying Goodbye to Koh Tao

“Well I guess that’s it,” my friend Tony said with a smirk behind his eyes on my last morning in Koh Tao. I had just ordered overnight oats at one of my favorite beachfront restaurants. His infamous punch line was coming.

 “You’ll get on the ferry and leave Koh Tao forever and I’ll never see you again.”

What started as a laugh took a sharp left turn and instantly produced enough tears to soak my own overnight oats. Tony uses these kinds of lines to make a jab at the overdramatic scenes of leaving, but this morning was a little different because it was suddenly real.

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Blog, Lifestyle

Dealing With Quarantine Guilt

I consider myself to be one of the luckiest people in the world, trapped on an island without Coronavirus, but there are still days when I long for home or a hug from a loved one. Sometimes the blue skies feel a little emptier knowing your family and friends are on another continent. You can’t see tropical beaches and sunshine if your mind is somewhere else.

Some days I face strong internal battles of guilt. I miss home and feel a little lonely, but simultaneously know that quarantine doesn’t get much better than this. So my mind chatters along, one half feeling invincible and the second half trying to drag the first half down a dark canyon of anxiety.

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Travel

My Island Lock Down in Thailand

Part of what lured me to Koh Tao in the first place was the fact that it’s a small island that seems to exist in an undisturbed parallel to the outside world. As the island lock down begins, these same qualities could come back to either haunt me or save me.

Starting April 1, and continuing for two weeks, the island will be closed to visitors – that means tourists and foreigners. Night ferries will bring in food and supplies every evening, and people are welcome to leave, but foreigners will no longer be permitted to enter.

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girl sitting alone in a field reading books
Lifestyle

‘Social Isolation’: Turning Negativity into an Opportunity for Self-Discovery

In the current pandemonium that the entire world knows as Coronavirus, much of the population is facing a bit of a crisis (other than a potentially fatal flu): What should I do with all of my spare time since we’re being pushed into isolation? 

Now, as society seems to be traversing a tightrope, people are being forced into the physical confines of their homes and the mental confines of their minds. It’s a scary thing, to be alone with ourselves. Most of us are never really alone, surrounded by the buzzing noises of social media, as well as the presence of friends and family. 

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images of a light blurred at night
Lifestyle

My Floating Peace

I wrote this little snippet while sitting on the night ferry, leaving Koh Tao for a quick visa run.

The night is young, stars awakening in the dimming daylight overhead. The evening air whispers promises of potential in my ears and grazes my skin with traces of what can only remind me of the ocean. So sweet are the moments between now and next which we often take for granted. Linger in the present. Stay a little while longer. 

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