In the current pandemonium that the entire world knows as Coronavirus, much of the population is facing a bit of a crisis (other than a potentially fatal flu): What should I do with all of my spare time since we’re being pushed into isolation?
Now, as society seems to be traversing a tightrope, people are being forced into the physical confines of their homes and the mental confines of their minds. It’s a scary thing, to be alone with ourselves. Most of us are never really alone, surrounded by the buzzing noises of social media, as well as the presence of friends and family.
I’ve always enjoyed my alone time. I like to write, read, take a walk on the beach, and go for runs. I actually have a ‘life list’ of things I’d like to learn during my century or so of existence should I find myself with an abundance of available time.
It’s so important to find things that we love doing, things that fill our souls with fire and give us a reason to wake up in the morning. Otherwise, what’s the point? A bit pessimistic, maybe, but at least that’s how I see it. Life is short and we should fill it with people, moments, and memories that bring us joy.
Beyond exploring our passions, we also need to investigate the dark corners of our minds that we usually try to leave unprovoked. Knowing ourselves means knowing the qualities we are most proud of, as well as our biggest flaws. I’ve always felt like I’ve been pretty in tune with my mind and body, but I definitely experienced an extra intense period of self-discovery after moving to Thailand.
This is the first time I’ve lived alone, in a place without any housemates. The mornings are peaceful and quiet. I like to write and drink tea, listening to the sounds of birds flitting about and waking up outside my window. Part of my soul actually resembles an 85 year old elderly woman. Early nights to bed and watching the sunrise makes me happy, too.
Then there are evenings where I wish there was someone to distract me from the thoughts whirling around in my head, everything stemming from personal insecurities to figuring out my future to missing home. These are the hardest moments to be alone, but also the most important. They help me understand my fears and why I am the way I am, and how I can move forward towards personal growth.
I’ve learned that opening up to people, making myself vulnerable to broken bonds of trust, scares me the most. I’ve learned that as much as I love my home and friends back in the U.S., I don’t think I want to live there for the rest of my life. I sleep much better when it’s quiet and dark, and my room feels 20 times messier if I don’t make the bed after waking up. Cucumbers don’t make any sense to me; they’re just edible water. I love talking to people who are passionate about what they do. It inspires me to always continue improving.
I’ve learned that I don’t need a lot of things to be happy. I prefer a simple life surrounded by good people, good energy, and good memories. I’ve learned how to enjoy being alone, that these moments of stillness are the ones where I can discover my inner voice.
The world is filled with chaos and confusion right now, so learn to treasure these moments of stillness. Life is so short. To know what we want to get out of it, we first have to know ourselves.